Grief is hard for adults—so it’s no surprise that children often struggle even more. Let’s take a look at how to teach kids to deal with grief. When someone they love dies or a major loss happens, kids feel the same emotions adults do, but with fewer tools to understand or express them. The good news: with patient, honest guidance, children can learn to navigate grief in healthy, resilient ways.
Let’s take a look at how to teach kids to deal with grief!
This post guides you through practical, age-appropriate strategies: how to teach kids to deal with grief. Also, to support children through one of life’s most difficult experiences.
Start With Honest, Clear Communication
Children need the truth, delivered gently.
Avoid confusing phrases like “She went to sleep” or “We lost him.” Kids take language literally, and euphemisms can create fear or misunderstanding.
Instead, use clear, concrete language:
- “Grandma died. That means her body stopped working.”
- “He won’t come back, but we can always remember him.”
Being straightforward builds trust and helps kids make sense of their emotions.
Make Space for Questions (Even the Hard Ones)
Kids process grief in waves. They may ask the same question repeatedly, not to challenge you, but because they’re trying to understand something overwhelming.
Encourage questions with:
- “You can ask me anything.”
- “It’s okay if you need to ask again.”
If you don’t know an answer, it’s perfectly okay to say, “I’m not sure, but I’m here with you.”
Validate Every Feeling—No Emotion Is Wrong
Children may cry, act out, withdraw, or seem unaffected. All are normal.
Try language like:
- “It makes sense to feel sad.”
- “It’s okay to cry or feel mad.”
- “Everyone grieves differently, and that’s okay.”
Avoid minimizing feelings or rushing the process. Kids need slow, steady reassurance.
Keep Daily Routines Steady
Routine provides stability when everything else feels shaky.
Meals, bedtime, school, and familiar rituals help kids feel safe. Consistency doesn’t erase grief—but it anchors children in predictability during an emotional storm.
Offer Creative Ways to Express Emotions
Children often communicate through play or creativity rather than conversation.
Consider activities such as:
- Drawing pictures of the person who died
- Making a memory box
- Writing letters or stories
- Using dolls or puppets to role-play feelings
These outlets give children ways to express grief that feel natural and safe.
Let Them See Healthy Grief in You
Kids learn from what you model. You don’t need to be perfectly composed—just authentic.
Try saying:
- “I’m crying because I miss her, and that’s okay.”
This teaches children that big feelings are normal and manageable.
Reassure Them About Safety and Continuity
Children often fear more loss.
Offer concrete reassurance:
- “I’m here to take care of you.”
- “The people who love you are still here.”
- “You didn’t cause this.”
This is especially important if the loss was sudden.
Give Kids Choices About Goodbyes
Funerals, memorials, and rituals can be meaningful for children—if they’re prepared and willing.
Explain what will happen in simple terms and offer choices:
- Attend or not
- Sit with a trusted adult
- Bring a comfort item
Choice gives them a sense of control amid emotional upheaval.
Keep the Memories Alive
Remembering helps healing. You can:
- Share stories
- Look through photos
- Light candles
- Celebrate birthdays or anniversaries
- Create traditions that honor the person
Memories connect kids to love, not just loss.
Know When to Seek Extra Support
Professional help may be useful if you notice:
- Persistent withdrawal or numbness
- Nightmares or major sleep changes
- Regression (bedwetting, baby talk)
- Strong separation anxiety
- A sudden drop in school performance
- Intense anger or risk-taking behavior
Grief therapists and child counselors can offer tools you may not have at home.
Teaching kids to deal with grief is not about eliminating their pain—it’s about walking with them through it. With honesty, patience, and consistent love, children can learn to understand their emotions, feel safe expressing them, and ultimately carry their memories forward in healthy ways.
